Blog 24 - 2009: A year of Heartbreak, Friendship & Resilience
2009 turned out to be one of the most difficult years of my life. January began with immediate challenges. Jeanette, who had agreed to move on the property to be Dad’s caretaker, decided not to do that. Having spent a lot of money creating a trailer site for her, I was at a loss as to how to proceed. My mini horse, Nikita, continued to be severely lame on 3 legs, perplexing many veterinarians and worrying me endlessly. Since money was a concern, I canceled my trip to Panama to concentrate on 4Creature Comfort shows. In January and February, I vended at the Portland Bluegrass Festival, my annual sale at The Barn at Owl’s Peak, the Good Earth Home Show in Eugene, the Puyallup Palmer Antique Show, Tacoma Dome Asian Arts Celebration, Eugene Asian Celebration, and the Portland Antique Show, all while managing my dad. Riding my Lady horse was the thing that made my heart sing. I poured myself into creating my aromatherapy essential oil blends and my I Am T-shirt designs.
I hadn’t seen Geddy since I returned from Creature Comforts Inn & Gallery with my dad in the early fall. I mentioned in the last chapter that he had developed adult-onset bipolar syndrome. In March, he told me that he started a relationship with his high school girlfriend, Paula, in the fall after I left Maine. She lived outside Boston, and her husband had recently died. The adventurous and fiercely independent Geddy I knew disappeared. He was no longer able to be on his own, even for a short time, due to his mental condition. Paula was there for him when I was far away taking care of my dad. Much later, I discovered that she moved into our inn in Franklin that fall, and when I cancelled the Panama trip, she accompanied him to our home there as well. I was blindsided and devastated.
I continued selling my goods at shows weekly for the rest of March while tearful phone calls from Geddy tore me apart. Geddy and Starr came home in April. Now home, he wanted to forget the recent affair. We planned a second wedding for July 2nd in Franklin to celebrate reconnecting. At one of our spiritual shows in Portland, Oregon, Geddy met Cheryl, who also had a booth selling her organic products. She spotted Starr walking around with a leash dragging on the floor, following Geddy without him holding the leash. Cheryl, a dog person, reached out to them and started a new friendship.
Left: Cheryl selling her organic potions at the Portland Show. Right: Geddy, Starr & Cheryl
By the end of the show, Geddy had talked her into joining us in Maine for the summer season to be his administrative assistant in his Panama Geddy Taxi & Tour business. Cheryl was clearly ready for a new adventure and trusted his vision.
After three weeks at home, he returned to Franklin on May 9th to get organized for the upcoming tourist season. Cheryl made plans to drive across the country with her two big dogs, Makala and Sophie, and I continued doing weekly shows, preparing for my return to Franklin with Tino, and arranging dad’s care. It was obvious that my dad couldn’t handle another season in Maine. He begged to go with me, which was heart-wrenching. I organized a cast of caregivers for dad and brought my horses over to Robbi’s house for the summer, leaving dad with two cats, Jasper and Tibet. I would return on July 15th for a series of my best summer shows. I clearly remember dad giving me a bear hug as I left on May 29th.
Geddy picked us up at Bangor airport, and I immediately knew there was something wrong. Back at the inn, Geddy told me he was back with Paula—and left! I am in shock. In the morning, reality sets in. Here I am in Franklin, Maine, with no vehicle, a wedding to cancel, an inn and gallery to run, Cheryl en route across the country, and very little money. As it turned out, the community was aware of my situation since Paula had lived at the inn with Geddy in the fall. Early that morning, Marla arrived with a van to lend to me for a while. I was overwhelmed by her generosity. Linda, Bobbie, Pam, Keiley, Dania, and Geddy’s brother, Herb, Henry, Ed, Barry, Jeff, Buzz... all rallied around me to help. Despite my broken heart, this was all heartwarming.
Cheryl and I talked daily as she continued the long cross-country drive in very hot weather with her two big dogs. She was exhausted by the journey and became nervous about her future as Geddy’s assistant since he was so erratic and unpredictable. Our long talks solidified a strong friendship. When she arrived, she attempted to work for him, but it wasn’t long before she realized there was no future working with him. By the end of June, I concluded that I needed to close the inn. The original plan was to operate the inn and gallery as a team with Geddy and his brother Herb. Herb, a great friend and ally, was in treatment for pancreatic cancer, and Geddy’s mental breakdown took him in other directions. I would never have bought this inn and moved so much Creature Comforts inventory across country on my own. I did this for Geddy, and now I was the one left holding the bag. Since I was successful with my Washington-based business, I decided it was time to sell the inn and leave Maine. Friends convinced me that when I left for Hansville on July 15th, Geddy would steal all the antiques and gallery inventory. Geddy had scared me enough times that the consensus was that I should get a restraining order. Instead, I decided to auction off the contents of the inn and the gallery in August. My cousin Linda, living in Portland, Maine, was in the antique business. She introduced me to her friend, Floyd, an auctioneer from Portland. We developed a plan for an on-site estate auction for August 15th. I contacted many antique and clothing stores in the area to sell my gallery goods. I had good success with that. I started working with a real estate broker, Steve, to sell the inn, knowing that the market was at its worst ever!
Cheryl and I planned a huge party we named “The Big Secret Witches Coven Party” for July 11th. Cheryl had reconnected with an old boyfriend, Joe, from San Antonio, Texas. He flew in on the 9th, just before the party. It was a huge, wild party! Most people arrived in costume, carrying brooms to sweep Geddy away! Chris, my inn caretaker, created a grave, R.I.P. for Geddy! The party continued until the wee hours of the morning. A very fun night to be followed by…
Cheryl & Joe
Jeri & Cheryl at the Big Secret Witches Coven Party
R.I.P. Geddy Begone Grave
Herb arrived ready to sweep his brother away
Chris surprised us all in a princess costume!
Pam, being a perfectly good witch
Herb & Keiley, my landscaper
Pam with her two daughter witches
Curious Tino & a bear
On Sunday, July 12th, my dad left this earth. It started with an accident when he fell backward and injured his head. His caregiver was there when it happened, and he went to the emergency room. I was called but was reassured that he would be ok. Later, when I was at Acadia National Park with Cheryl and Joe, I received a call from an emergency doctor who said that since Dad’s DNR order hadn’t been seen, he had been put on a breathing machine. My dad’s wishes were very clear about not wanting this. When he was taken off the machine, he peacefully passed after a few breaths. I had a precious memory of his last embrace. I was to fly home in two days, and he chose to spare me watching him pass. My dad was 89.
Despite my extreme grief, I had no choice but to continue with my schedule to fly home on the 15th. The next day was booked with a sales trip to the Kimball Shop in Northeast Harbor to sell the owner, Nancy, hand-knit sweaters from Thailand. Floyd arrived from Portland with his associate Tom the same day. They wandered around and ended up purchasing over $10,000.00 in goods. That sale, plus the sweater sale, improved my desolate spirits. People showed up in layers, all offering their love…all except Geddy, who was cantankerous and mean-spirited. Seriously? My dad was more of a dad to him than his real dad, who abandoned him at four years old.
Tino and I flew home to Hansville on the 15th. In the seven weeks I had been away, I lost a husband, a business, dreams, hopes, my dad, and my Tibet kitty, who disappeared the day dad went into the hospital. Lovely Heather, who was with my dad when he died, picked me up at the airport. The reality of the loss of my dad settled in. I have always loved being part of a family, and now my family is gone. I felt truly alone, but I was surrounded by a herd of loving friends. I am a survivor, and I will go on. I threw myself into both planning Dad’s memorial and vending at the summer shows on the schedule. Cheryl started to drive back to Hansville with her dogs. I was blessed with great sales at the Vashon Strawberry Festival and furniture sales at the Barn. Neighbors and friends were sending flowers, and best of all, their support and love.
Dad & Ali, in Scituate
Jasper, looking at Dad and Tino's puppy picture
Jasper & Tibet, adopted together 10/1996
Tibet, a fluffy, loving, cuddly buddy
I held dad’s Life Celebration: A Ray of Sunshine Honoring the Life of Ray Hansen, on July 29th, a Wednesday evening. I had my friend Arisa play the harp in the Thai gazebo on the lawn. I surprised everyone by riding in on Lady with Robbi on her horse, Spirit…and Heather leading Niki, to everyone’s elation. We had braided flowers into the horses’ manes and tails…and they were stunning. We had kept the horses ready to ride in secret at Whitney’s house next door.
Robbi & Cheryl braiding Niki's mane
Gorgeous Niki dressed for the event
Lady's tail flowers
Lady, my love
Arisa with her harp
Riding in with Robbi & Heather leading Niki
Dad believed that God was in nature everywhere…that nature was his cathedral. It was so fitting to present his memorial on the land he loved so much, with the horses, dogs and cats in attendance. His spirit was all around us! The closing was the rendition of Over the Rainbow by Brother Iz…a beautiful version that Dad loved. The party & feast was joyful and filled with many dad stories. Even though he only lived in the Northwest for ten years, he touched many lives with his endless laughter and radiance. And the next day was my mom’s birthday…I loved thinking of them back together dancing in the stars.
An emotional memorial speech
Heather & Jeri
Whitney & Cheryl
On July 31st, Tino and I traveled to Coeur d’Alene for the Art in the Park Festival. This was always a successful show. We camped out of the city in a lovely place on a river. Early Sunday morning, Chris called from the inn informing me that Geddy & Paula had broken into the inn through the cellar bulkhead, tracking his muddy Croc shoeprints up the stairs along with her tiny shoeprints. They made a mess, stole items and they were seen strapping items onto their van roof. This was what he did when I was home tending to the death of my dad!?! I felt violated and astonished. As I was reporting the break-in to the state troopers, Geddy called, leaving a threatening message. Officer Cory Smith asked me if I was willing to go to court. I said yes. But later, when he continued to threaten me, I relented and called the police off the case. During the intense phone calls, I tried to be as discreet & quiet as possible. When I was packing out of the show, a man who had been picnicking with his family nearby offered to help me pack out …and being a normal North Idaho man, offered to go “handle” this situation. I told him this was back in Maine! I truly appreciated the help loading out, though.
I returned home to my two-house guests, Heather and Cheryl. Dad’s apartment needed a facelift. I replaced the old carpet with new flooring, did a deep cleaning, prepping it for use including spiritual smudging. I sailed through one more show at Mt. Si, in North Bend…. Heather set up in dad’s apartment, and I prepared to fly back to Maine on August 11. Tino and I got stranded in Detroit for an overnight due to a canceled flight. The next morning, my carry-on bag set off the alarm. I was carrying some of Dad’s ashes to bring to Norwell, and they triggered the alarm. When I told the agent what was in the bag, he immediately dropped it and withdrew from the bag. I had to retrieve it.
They say things happen in threes, right? Well, at Boston airport waiting for my flight to Bangor, I was rudely attacked by an arrogant state trooper about Tino. Tino, being an emotional support dog, had his papers in order, but this rude officer taunted me angrily. I survived this and Herb picked us up at the airport in Bangor.
The estate auction was set for August 15th with a preview on Friday night the 14th. Cheryl flew back to Maine to help me out. She was the caterer for the event. The excitement at the preview had us all on edge with anticipation. The morning of the auction, the temperature was on the rise, and it turned out to be a scorcher. An auction works best when the attendance is huge…we had a very poor turnout, mostly due to the extreme heatwave. There was a giant tent set up with runners (twelve of them!) bringing items from the house and gallery while Floyd did his magic auctioneering. I was so sad, I didn’t even take any photos. I stopped the auctioning of my gallery goods after an hour but endured the inn goods flying out the door at crazy low prices. Tom, part of the auction gang, invited me to go for a Harley ride when it was over. Sailing on the back roads to Bar Harbor with the hot summer night air with Tom was blissful, wiping away the stress of the estate sale. We had drinks at Rupini’s and talked endlessly. We returned to the inn with a party going outside with a glowing fire. A lovely end to a disappointing event. The next day was a huge cleanup day and a group trip to our local lake for a swim. I rode with Tom on the Harley, while Tino rode there with Chris. Tino had never learned to swim! I carried him into the water, thinking that the cooling down might change his mind. He was not happy! Local young kids gathered to find out why the little dog was so sad. Before the end of the summer, he did learn to love the water…it took other dogs and a rubber chicken thrown into the water!
As the summer wore on, the thing that kept me sane and centered was swimming a mile daily in Ellsworth. I started this at the beginning of the summer and never regretted my early morning wake-up for this essential workout. I planned a trip to Norwell and Martha’s Vineyard, primarily to release my dad’s ashes at the bridge on the North River where both my mom and my brother’s ashes were scattered at the ebb of high tide, under a full moon in the early morning hours. August 24th at 4 AM was the perfect time. A small gathering of essential people: Cheryl, me, Ali, Linda, David & Lynn, Eleanor & her friend, and David & Sally, whose walkway through the marshes took us to their dock right at the bridge…on a clear, quiet, starry night. David & Ali recited Emily Dickinson poems, I spoke my heart, and everyone had something magical to share. Then it was time to let Dad flow into the swift current to join Mom and Ray Jr…., and we each sent a flower into the river, one at a time. We had a breakfast gathering back at David & Lynn’s home where the chatter was animated. The day continued with a walk in Eleanor’s Norris reservation, ending at the river. Ali, Cheryl and I toured south shore towns, ending up in Scituate for dinner with David, Ali’s high school boyfriend and Fred, who had taken an interest in me. After dinner, Cheryl, Ali and I went to the Fairview Inn at Brant Rock beach for a delightful overnight. The next day, Cheryl & I drove to Cape Cod, meandering from town to town, ending in Provincetown, my old stomping ground.
Dad, at the North River Bridge, Norwell
The Fairview Inn, built in 1874, Brant Rock
We found a charming little cabin on a beach near the Race Point dunes. We blissed out for a few days visiting more quaint little towns both on the Cape Cod and traveled north on the coast of Maine…all new for Cheryl.
Cheryl & I flew home to Seattle on September 3rd…time to get ready to vend at Bumbershoot. This show had historically been one of the best of the year and the most exhausting. This was a very rainy year with low attendance, breaking my streak of show success. I set up a complicated schedule of helpers, as this show was impossible to do solo. I also packed out of the Harmony Hill Store in Port Gamble because Kat closed her shop. The Port Townsend Wooden Boat Festival followed, also slower than the previous year but still in the plus column.
Next, I planned a trip back to the east coast to visit Cousin Susan in her cabin at Martha’s Vineyard for 2 nights and then spend a 3rd night at Fred’s family cottage in Oak Bluffs with him and David. I flew out on September 15th, leaving Tino for a month with Cheryl and Heather at the house. Herb picked me up at the airport. I spent a week at the inn cleaning endlessly and enjoying my friends as well. I landed on the same ferry as Susan from Woods Hole to the Vineyard. Her cooperative cabin had been rebuilt since I had been there last…a huge improvement. We visited Cape Poge and the lighthouse on Chappaquiddick, and Wasque Beach on the tip of the island.
Cape Pogue Lighthouse, 1801
Cousin Susan
Fred's cottage in Oak Bluffs
We went to Fred’s cottage in the Methodist Camp, Oak Bluffs, which is a fascinating complex of about 100 cottages, all with intricate gingerbread-style details. We toured the island and hit Gay’s Head at the top of sunset.
David & Fred at the cottage, Lavender and Lace
Gay's Head
Fred & Jeri
Susan returned us to the cottage, huge hugs goodbye, and we three settled in for a long night of stories and fun…a magical night. The three of us took the ferry to Falmouth in the morning, they drove me to my car in Woods Hole, and then I followed them back to Scituate for a sendoff drink at Mill Wharf. I overnighted with Linda & Linn in Hanover that night. The next day I planned to end up in Brunswick, Maine for a sleepover at Blake’s house. He was at a workshop, so there was no hurry. A hike around the Norris Reservation ended up with a trip to the bridge where my family rests in peace. A call to my childhood friend Ben resulted in a call to Jimmy, who came to meet me at the bridge. He lived in Mendocino, CA. We decided to cruise around in his car, stopping to catch up with friends, when Ben called to see if we were coming to dinner. Why not? I called Blake to say I’d been kidnapped and would arrive tomorrow.
Jimmy at the bridge
Ben & Jimmy on Prospect Street
Blake in Brunswick, Maine, in front of his art
I drove to Brunswick early the next day. Blake gave me a tour of his art projects, a visit to Bowdoin College and their two museums, and we chilled over silent movies that night. I was off in the morning with a stop at Boothbay Harbor, a swim in Ellsworth and home to the inn.
The next two weeks were a blur. I packed 18 boxes to send back to Hansville, painted four rooms at the inn, put the house in order for the winter, entertained a visit from Blake, swam, hiked, enjoyed endless outings with friends, found a new real estate broker, Kimberly at Town & Country, and continued frustrating, painful communications with Geddy. I returned to Hansville on October 18th. I came home to Tino, Lady, Niki, Jasper, Cheryl, Heather, and the long line up of fall shows. A new horse, Cali, came to board with Lady & Niki on my return. I planned a trip to London and Kuwait in mid-December. In early December, a broken Geddy let me know he wanted to come home. I had moved on, but my heart was tugged. I decided to make no decisions until after my trip! The next chapter will reveal the details of my upcoming journey and what life brings.
Comments